WHERE ARE YOU? I'M KINDA MISSING YOU RIGHT NOW :(

So, how does it feel, growing old?

I'll be 18 next week. I don't know whether I have to be happy or not, cause you know, the 'grow old' thing really freaks me out. Being an adult is not really that bad, I know. but I still can't figure out how could I handle all the problems I'll meet like taking the right major for me, finishing college, looking for a job, having a family, etc. so people out there, how does it feel?

I miss you

Today I went to Sushi Tei and saw a girl (who's probably have the same age with me) having dinner with her mom. They look so happy and loving each other. Suddenly I miss my mom, really wanna call her at that time, but I can't. She's far away in Mekkah.

I remember her last text message :

"Ass, syg ini no telp mami sudah smp di jedah jam 8 pagi waktu jedah, doain mami ya, take care ya"

(sigh)

take care there, mom. I miss you

SAYA SUDAH MANTAP AKAN MEMILIH PRODI TEKNIK FISIKA

mohon doa nya agar lancar-lancar TPB-nya dan mudah-mudahan tidak labil lagi :)

Galau

akhir-akhir ini Bandung terus-terusan hujan, terus-terusan mendung. perasaan hati gue pun sama sekali tidak baik jadinya. biasanya kalo hari lagi cerah, gue jalan sendiri kemana-mana itu rasanya nyaman banget, tapi sekarang ini kalo hujan terus sendirian, rasanya kelam banget.

minggu ini emang lagi masuk minggu terberat gue di sini. Tugas banyak, kuis juga, UTS kalkulus, ditinggal bokap-nyokap pergi jauh, masalah lain berdatangan akibat ketidak pekaan gue sendiri terhadap lingkungan sekitar. rasanya tertekan banget deh, kayak lo berada di ruang yang bener-bener sempit sampe lo ga bisa nafas. bahkan saat rame-rame sama temen pun gue tetep ga bisa ngilangin rasa ga enak di hati gue, yang biasanya selalu bisa hilang gitu aja tiap gue lagi main sama temen-temen gue. banyak orang di sekitar gue, tapi gue ngerasa sendirian.

galau banget ya gue?
entah karena pengaruh cuaca yang ga enak, entah karena lagi PMS.

kadang pengen marah, kadang pengen nangis saking gatau mau ngelampiasin gimana, kadang mau bodo amat tapi ga bisa, kadang pengen percaya sama diri gue kalo gue bisa tapi susah, kadang pengen bersikap dewasa dan ga cengeng kayak gini.

setiap bermasalah dan merasa sangat terbebani kayak gini, gue selalu mikir, ini tuh namanya proses pendewasaan diri, semakin sulit masalah yang lo dapet, semakin banyak pelajaran yang bisa lo dapetin.

tapi gue selalu bertanya-tanya gimana cara suapaya gue bisa ngelewatin ini semua?

gue takut banget gue ga lulus TPB,
gue takut banget ngecewain orang tua gue,
gue takut banget jadi cakruga,
gue takut banget masalah gue tidak akan ada ujungnya,
gue takut banget pada akhirnya gue jadi lemah dan nyerah sama keadaan

kenapa sih gue orangnya ga peka?
kenapa sih gue orangnya nyantai banget?
kenapa sih gue orangnya susah ikhlas nerima keadaan?
kenapa sih gue orangnya cengeng bangeeeeeeeeeet?

banyak temen gue yang selalu nyuruh gue untuk tidak semakin menekan diri gue sendiri. kadang gue ngerasa apa iya gue aja yang suka hiperbola? tapi kalo gue mau santai aja juga ga bisa, entah kenapa beban banget. mau gue pandang secara normal pun tetep aja susah, malah nambah bikin tertekan.

ya Allaaaaaah bantu aku :(
setidaknya jangan kirim masalah lain dulu sebelum masalah ini semua selesai, please.

Hunting pra-TA cakru 09 LFM ITB

4 foto teratas diambil pake dslr, sisanya pake analog slr pake ASA 400

Hunting besar untuk tugas pra tugas akhir pendidikan bidang fotografi calon kru 09 Liga Film Mahasiswa ITB, 15 November 2009, komplek Universitas Pendidikan Indonesia.

What a great daaaaaaaaaaay <3

maybe you feel like your world crashing down,
maybe you're too busy looking at someone else,
maybe you're not sure,
maybe you don't know,
maybe you don't realize

just in case you finally feel enough,
just in case you don't wanna be lost further,
just in case you don't know where about to stand,

just don't look anywhere,
I'm right here for you :)

Life recently at Bandung

hey there!

current picture of mine :)

so, how are you people?

been so busy lately (seriously), only got so little time for updating the blog, sorry :p

My life here? hmm, as I told you, life is a bit hectic here. UTS-thing, LFM-thing, etc. love-thing? can't say much, but yes, I got a crush on someone, lol. for UTS-thing, I already got my first A and also my first E, pathetic. for LFM-thing, I think I'm in love already with the unit, I've been studying about photography and I enjoy it very much, hope I could make it 'till I become the crew :D

oh yes, let me introduce you to some of my closest friends here,

left to right : Ilham, Elsa, Citte, Yunica, Fedriz, Me

been playing with them most of the time in campus and also studying together in Citte's or Elsa's place, big thanks for them who always motivate me to keep studying :D

*

by the way, I went to Symphonesia last sunday. it's a musical show held by UNPAD in SABUGA with The S.I.G.I.T, Maliq and d'essentials, Ecoutez!, and also Glenn Fredly as the guest stars.

here I bring you some pictures taken by me using my cousin's dslr camera :D






so, hows your life recently?

Lu kire gue optika fisis

Teman gue : (nyolek) pinjem pulpen dong
Gue : (ngambil pulpen) nih
Teman gue : (nulis)
Gue : (lanjut merhatiin kuliah)
Teman gue : (nyolek)
Gue : Apa lagi?
Teman gue : Maya (sambil nyodorin pulpen)
Gue : HAH? Siapa?
Teman gue : ini gak nyata, Maya.
Gue : -_-

Oh gitu toh ternyata

Gue : Duh kenapa sih cowok kelas kita ga ada yang qualified buat jadi calon suami? adaaaa aja anehnya, hahaha (bercanda).
Cowok kelas FTI B : Sayangnya itu juga pembicaraan kita tentang cewek kelas kita, hahaha.

Ngek ngok.